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Lifestyle

LEARNING TO SAY “NO”

BY DARREN TIMMS

Author, Emotional Healer, Life

Coach, and Nutritionist.a

darrenjontimms@hotmail.co.uk

 

It’s the middle of winter here in Dubai, but with a dizzy 29 degrees of perpetual sunshine daily. It doesn’t exactly feel like winter is banging at the door, which suits me fine as I am a lover of the sunshine but no so much of the cold… That being said, it is the season we associate with goodwill to all men, peace on Earth etc. etc., which is an essential message in today’s fast moving World where every man and his dog appears to be out for himself at the expense of others… More for me and less for you appears to be the message which the World promotes. Thus, what I am about to explain may appear paradoxical, but bear with me and by the end of the article I am sure we will be singing from the same hymn sheet… So if one wants to keep up with the new year’s resolutions and sticks to a fresh perspective from now and forever more, why not commit right now to valuing your time, a precious commodity which cannot be purchased or gotten back once gone.

 

Nothing is more important in a person’s character than self-love and appreciation, but how many of us really love ourselves and appreciate our time over that of others, or more specifically time demanded of us by others? What we tend to do is through gritted teeth or a underlying resentment give away our time to an over demanding partner or parents, a spoilt child, an unreasonable boss or co-dependent friends but at the same time wishing we had the strength of character to actually state the one word with two letters that will gain you more respect than any other…

 

“NO”

Such a simple word but not one we are comfortable using for fear of offending others, yet if used correctly at the right time can literally change your life… Again, I must be clear here as not to confuse because as an emotional healer and therapist I teach others the importance of compassion and tolerance, but the path of compassion is not an obligation to attend to others regardless of how they act or behave towards you. One has to see the objectives and demands of others before attempting to help or facilitate people’s demands of you…

 

How many of you out there have sat there and wished the person in front of you who is constantly complaining about this and that would just end his or her need for drama and change their circumstances by working on themselves rather than playing the victim.

 

Ask yourself, ‘’Is there anything I can do for these people to help them connect to their higher purpose and highest self?, If not, then continually being in the presence of emotional energy vampires will drain you of your own valuable energy which could be best served elsewhere…

 

There is nothing selfish about this, as this represents self-respect and demonstrating self-love, which is sadly missing in so many in today’s society, and how can you expect to love another if you are incapable of loving yourself? You cannot. It must start with yourself, or all relationships you embark on will end the same unhappy way.

 

When you value your time, love and vision, so will others. Do you hesitate before speaking your truth for fear of offending? Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others? If so, you are valuing that person more than yourself. You are sending a telepathic message that he or she does not have to respect your time or you, so it should come as no surprise if that person begins to take you for granted…

 

Speaking your affirmative truth sets you free and by taking the appropriate action you begin to evolve and grow and at the same time assist others by your example, however hurt they feel which is merely temporary as they begin sub consciously to respect you more and more…

 

This inability to say ”NO” to people reflects a worldwide view that states that others people’s feelings are more important than yours, that their rights and demands supersede your own…Doing this will create energy blockages within you, backed up resentment, anger, and hurt which then sits uncomfortably within your own aura. This soon becomes your projected reality, as we are merely a mirror of our thoughts. Where our thoughts go our reality grows, so better to harvest and create happy ones which will not be possible if you are harboring negativity for something or someone on the back of not being strong enough to speak your truth or to firmly say no to unfair demands of yourself. Saying no is neither selfish nor unkind and being an emotionally aware individual as those reading lifestyle ME surely are , should know how and when to use this powerful word and when not to. Your intuition and higher self will let you know very clearly when the time is right…

 

Whether you choose to listen and deliver those two letters will show you very quickly if you are a self-assured human being who knows the difference between selfish and sharing, or the doormat that people tend to wipe their feet on before trampling dirt all over your house, metaphorically of course…

 

NO!!!!!! SAY IT AND MEAN IT WHEN

YOU HAVE TOO…

It can change your life…

 

Until the next time, every moment you are alive is a gift so don’t wait for any particular day to celebrate that fact…

 

With love to all…

Darren Timms